11 May Psychic deaths
When I review the last 25 years of my life, I mostly remember blissful years. I must admit that until now I have had an amazing life. I have done everything I always wanted to do. Nevertheless, they were episodes, now and then, that were challenging, when my soul was deeply stirred, when I was broken into pieces, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Now, looking back at my journey, I understand that transformational forces were at work and that each time I was going through a new level of intense initiation orchestrated by a power bigger than myself. The universe and my own soul were challenging me to grow.
My greatest weakness was my stubbornness. I was trapped between what I thought I knew and what I believed was my truth. My great will and determination, which had been my greatest allied until then, were preventing spirit to flow through me. I had to learn to let go and allow God to flow through me.
To heal my mind, body and spirit I needed to empty myself. My psyche needed to break free from the roles I had played, my self-image, attachments, old habits, bad relationships, self-imposed limitations, family’s expectations and deep-rooted cultural patterns. Essentially, I needed to rip away the fabric of what I had previously known as my own reality.
Every time, I experienced the dark night of the soul, I was able to chip away a little more of the wall of illusion. It was always a slow and long process onset by a crisis, a difficult passage or a troubled emotional state. I would become more and more upset, confused and depressed until I could not contain my pain and intense emotions would arise. I would fall apart until I picked my self up again.
What followed was always a feeling of relief. Like a big cosmic sigh! All of sudden I felt at peace and understood what I had refused to see. Each time, a part of me would die. At the point of greatest darkness, I was able to see the light within myself.
Between each episode there would be an extended period of respite promoting the integration of what I needed to learn until a new seed of possibility would be planted and I would become pregnant of my self again, pregnant and empty at the same time.
This process may happen one or several times in one lifetime. Each time we go through a psychic death followed by a rebirth that leads us to a higher level of consciousness.
If you are going through a similar crisis, know that this too shall pass. Do not be afraid to go within by practicing meditation and yoga. Remember that surrendering is to display courage. Know that every thing waxes and wanes and that all conditions whether positive or negative are temporary. Above all, trust your own process and watch for signs of springs. Know that what is happening is the will of heaven!
In peace and light,